The Yardstick of Deviant Behavior
How should a girl take it when her lover says in not so many words that she is sexually dysfunctional?
Welcome to the Yardstick!
So Opie (OP15) & I were talking shop one day and during the course of the discussion I shared a little fantasy of mine. No, I don’t remember what it was, but she agreed that it was chock full of deviant goodness. I told her I was comforted in the fact that she understood the appeal of this fantasy and she told me to be careful what yardstick I was using to measure such things. I told her “it’s like this” Ned Flanders on one end, with the Emperor Nero on the other. Thus the creation of a running joke between us.
Keep in mind the order and far extreme do change over time as I discover more fabulous deviants in history, but Ned Flanders is always the starting point. I think I may paint it on my wall one day as a guide for potential lovers who think they can handle my preferences.
No matter how much you love grilled cheese sandwiches, if that’s all you’re eating you will become bored. The taste buds will atrophy & the mind will lose all interest. Eating will become a predictable chore.
I much prefer to liven things up with sliced tomatoes, maybe add some ham, change the cheese to Swiss or Colby-jack, and try a nice dark rye or 12 grain, maybe some turkey. Perhaps add a salad. Maybe a little soup. It all depends on what I crave & the limits of the imagination.
Some days, it’s all about a club sandwich & a side of macaroni salad. Other days, nothing but Filet Mignon with blue cheese crumbles & a fully loaded baked potato with Chocolate Decadence for dessert will satisfy me.
Welcome to the Yardstick!
So Opie (OP15) & I were talking shop one day and during the course of the discussion I shared a little fantasy of mine. No, I don’t remember what it was, but she agreed that it was chock full of deviant goodness. I told her I was comforted in the fact that she understood the appeal of this fantasy and she told me to be careful what yardstick I was using to measure such things. I told her “it’s like this” Ned Flanders on one end, with the Emperor Nero on the other. Thus the creation of a running joke between us.
Keep in mind the order and far extreme do change over time as I discover more fabulous deviants in history, but Ned Flanders is always the starting point. I think I may paint it on my wall one day as a guide for potential lovers who think they can handle my preferences.
No matter how much you love grilled cheese sandwiches, if that’s all you’re eating you will become bored. The taste buds will atrophy & the mind will lose all interest. Eating will become a predictable chore.
I much prefer to liven things up with sliced tomatoes, maybe add some ham, change the cheese to Swiss or Colby-jack, and try a nice dark rye or 12 grain, maybe some turkey. Perhaps add a salad. Maybe a little soup. It all depends on what I crave & the limits of the imagination.
Some days, it’s all about a club sandwich & a side of macaroni salad. Other days, nothing but Filet Mignon with blue cheese crumbles & a fully loaded baked potato with Chocolate Decadence for dessert will satisfy me.
I learned with the Asshat that sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, it's not enough to keep a relationship from going to hell in a handbasket whether you have "vanilla" association or one based more towards D/s or BDSM.
Actually, just the other day while discussing my supposed dysfunction with the Boo pet I told him "Someday you may find love isn't enough. "
He didn't have a response to that.
posted by DragonBaby at 5:36 AM
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