Hindsight is 20/20

When all the masks finally start to fall and you start to get a glimpse of the real person behind the chameleon, is that when love ends?Funny how it seems to work like that. Fortunately, you only caught the barest flash, the tiniest hint of that which I am. You were never worthy of the reality.
Ah, but you my dear, a Knight in shining armor? You were the town fool in tin foil riding an ass. Funny what happens when one looks beneath the surface and see's who you really are. It's not really a bad thing until you discover the fool is carrying the ass, not the other way around.

To See A Part of The World In My Eyes.....

A bedroom, non-descript at first glance, beige carpets, white walls, white mini-blinds over the window, sodium vapor light bleeding through the cracks, dim glow of soft light from candles placed a top the headboard.

Upon the bed my lover kneels on all fours, naked, waiting. Next to him a toy made of the finest silicone awaits. A small bottle of lubricant sits nearby on the nightstand.

Strong powerful calves leading to beautifully muscled thick thighs, the strength obvious in the definition of muscle flexing beneath skin as he shifts position. A rounded ass smooth as a baby begging to be spanked, whipped, bit. The marks show so ever so sweetly on that milky pale skin.
He hears me enter and I feel his anticipation of what is to come. A slight tension in his shoulders melts before my eyes, I am greedy, hungry for the feel of him beneath me but I distract myself with an examination of the other items on the bed.

A harness specifically fitted to my rather large frame, the steel ring to hold the toy in place, the straps to hold the ring. I am silent as I still don't know what to say to him. I want to tell him what this does to me, how beautiful he is, how I can't wait to taste even a small part of the pleasure that is to be had tonight. How it feels to give over control to my senses & free my mind. Instead I make a lame joke about my toy not being big enough to satisfy him. He laughs and I feel a measure of my usual state of mind return. My walls are in place again & the fantasy retreats a little.

I put on my harness, adjusting the straps until they are comfortable, carefully examine my toy for any signs of wear then attach it to the harness. He waits patiently as I apply a small amount of the lubricant though I know he doesn't care. But still I sometimes fear hurting him when we do this.

I run my hands over his ass, massaging slightly, trailing my fingers down the crack, teasing him a little bit. Gently working in a finger, conscious of my nails. I needn't bother he is ready for me. I continue to tease him, stroking his cock with my other hand hearing the little sounds he makes in his pleasure. I slip down, lightly biting his ass, he jumps slightly. I am thankful he doesn't see the smile that slips across my lips the momentary flash of the darkness rising behind my eyes.

Like a cat I begin to lick. Making circles over those plump cheeks with my tongue, moving up his back as I position myself behind him. My finger leaves his ass, and I feel him brace himself slightly as he feels it replaced with the head of my toy. I brush my lips over his shoulder as I begin to push against his sphincter. He pushes back against me and I am quickly buried deep within him. He moans quietly as I push a little bit, trying to get closer, my breasts pressed against his back, one hand on the bed beside him, the other on his hip. I pull back, begin thrusting slowly, savoring this moment. I let my mind go, senses begin to take over.

The glow of candle light across his head, the feel of my belly and breasts against his back, a moment of jealousy over how silky smooth his skin is naturally while I spend fairly large sums of money on moisturizers, creams and razors to be even half as soft as he his. I breathe deeply the scent of his body. A mix of shower gel and something that is uniquely him.

I come up and slowly begin to thrust in and out of his ass, feeling the way his body moves beneath my hands, the sound of his moans music to my ears, I tease him, or at least I like to think I do with short slow thrusts. He says nothing, just moans quietly. I spread his cheeks and slide as deep as I can, I feel him pulling me deeper and let myself go. But I refuse to go faster though I suspect he wishes I would. I continue at a steady pace, closing my eyes. Nothing exists but the feel of him, the scent, and the sound. Muscle rippling beneath my hands, nails running down his back, the soft slap of my thighs meeting his, the sensation of his ass opening to me. Withdrawing almost completely I enter him again, just one inch at a time, ever so slow. I see his tension rising, the stiffening of his back, feel it beneath my hand. Despite his strength he does not fight me, the gentlest touch is all it takes to hold him still. Once I am all the way in I do it again this time pulling back inch by inch. I feel him tighten up trying to keep me from withdrawing but I ignore it despite my desire to give in.

This time I pull all the way out and hear a whimper of protest from him. I am lost. I feel his need rising perhaps it will match my own? I reposition myself and thrust all the way in, this time going for the deeper strokes, but still slow. I want to feel everything tonight, the slow rise of his pleasure, and the rise of my own. As his ass opens to me, I open myself to him. The walls lower and I become one with his pleasure. Feel what he feels, the tingling rise in his cock, the desire for release, I feel my nails in his back tingling like electric arcs across my own, but there is no pain here, only the rising ecstasy of sliding deep within his ass, feeling it as he does.

The pressure begins to build within me, or is it within him? I can't tell anymore but I ride the wave anyway not realizing my nails are beginning to dig in to his back, my thrusts are becoming faster, sensation washes over me in waves, somewhere far away I think hear my name, but it means nothing. Nothing matters but the rising tide and I welcome it, just a little further, just a little deeper, hands grab my hips & all is an explosion of light and dark my orgasm crashes through me, through him as he shakes beneath me, breathing deeply, tinge of sweat in the air now, I fall against him. Kiss the back of his neck, trying to convey even a ghost of what I felt.

I give him a few moments to recover and become aware of a slight cramping in my thighs but it doesn't matter for the taste of that moment I would endure a thousand times more.

He shifts beneath me, ready for more my beautiful lover. And I will give him as much as he can take.

For The Love Of The Lash

A cheap hotel room, threadbare carpet, dim light from the flickering bulb. I hear the shower turn off and my excitement builds.

Lying on the bed, cool comforter against my skin, I can’t help it. I squeeze my thighs together in anticipation of what is to come, feeling myself getting wet. I close my eyes as I hear him come out of the bathroom. He seems to ignore me as he lights a cigarette. But I know he is watching me, waiting for me to make a mistake.

He forgets how well he trained me to be so quiet, so still. But he knows me better than that.

I feel him kneel beside me as he places the blindfold over my eyes, I smell him, feel the warmth of his body so close to mine, and I shiver.

I hear him walk over to the dresser. I can’t help it, I begin to shake. I’ve waited so long for this, yearning, aching in anticipation.

A slight breeze against my face & the smell of leather fills my nostrils. My breath catches in my throat. He caresses my face with the supple suede tips; I moan softly and rub my face against the leather.

He laughs. My cheeks burn with shame at my momentary loss of control.

Did you miss this? He asks.

I wait. It’s been a long time but I still remember my training. I hear the approval in his voice as he grants me permission to speak.

“Yes Sir” I whisper.

He trails the tips lightly across my arms and I stretch them over my head luxuriating in the sensation. The ends trail over my shoulders and down my back. I stretch out like a cat as if I could lengthen my body to prolong the sensation by giving him more to touch.

I feel the tips slipping down my back, along my ribs, over my hips. Unconsciously I arch my back and nearly purr.

Do you like that pet? He asks.

I smile softly, “Yes Sir”

He continues to trail the tips down my thighs, calves, around my ankles, slowly moving back up. Along the insides of my calves, shivers tracing across my skin wherever I am touched. I part my legs slightly, back arching again.

He stops.

Holding my breath, I wait. Panic filling me for a moment as I wonder why.

His words are tinged with amusement when he speaks. You’re already wet.

Again my cheeks burn with shame and now humiliation as well, that my desire is so obvious to him.

I feel the buttery soft suede trail over my pussy lips and moan arching back for more.

He laughs.

I have only a split second to feel a deeper sense of humiliation before I feel the sting of the flogger across my back.

I let out a yelp of pain and surprise. Again I feel the sting across my back, a little bit softer this time then again with more force. I barely manage to remain quiet.

That was new pet, has it been awhile since you were properly whipped? He asks.

I remain silent.

The red hot sting across my ass catches me completely unaware and I nearly jump off the bed, catching myself only at the last split-second.

I asked you a question pet! He growls.

“Yes Sir” I gasp.

He watches me. I feel his eyes trailing over the red welts across my back & the new ones forming on my ass.

I slowly regain control of my breathing, beginning to relax again. A tear forms and is absorbed by the blindfold.

When was the last time you were properly whipped? He asks.

I think for a moment……..

“I don’t remember Sir” I lie

Red hot fire explodes against the inside of my thigh. Another tear wets the blindfold.

You know better that to lie to me pet! When was the last time! He snarls.

“It’s been over a year Sir” I gasp, trying to catch my breath from the last blow.

He’s quiet for a long while and I wonder if perhaps he has changed his mind.

Was I the last to whip you pet? He asks with surprise.

“Yes Sir” I reply.

I hear him move behind me and feel his fingers trace the welts on my back, ass and thighs. Instantly I feel a hint of remorse in his touch for how hard he started off.

Do you want to continue? He asks.

“Yes Sir” I answer without hesitation.

I hear him move back and feel the sting of the whip across my left shoulder, softer this time than before. Again it comes down across my right shoulder this time, then both shoulder blades.

I relax as he falls in to a steady rhythm up and down my back. With each stroke I feel myself begin to accept the sting, to hunger for it again, to take pleasure in each lash.
He continues to move down my back, my thighs and even my calves.

My back arches as the whip makes contact with my ass again, my thighs part. I no longer care that he sees’ how excited I am, I moan softly with each taste of leather on my skin, drinking in the pain.

He begins to become random, no longer whipping me in a pattern, speeding up his rhythm, a different point of contact each time. I moan louder with each blow while trying to anticipate where the next stroke will be.

As my excitement increases, so does the force with which he brings down the whip. I am now one with pleasure and pain and my cries increase, wanting more without saying a word and he obliges with the precision and passion that made me first fall in love with the stinging warmth of the lash on my skin.

Finally he stops. His breathing heavy and ragged as is my own. He collapses in to the chair by the bed and slowly catches his breath. I hear him light a cigarette.

As my breathing slows, I feel the warmth spreading across my skin every where I have tasted the whip. I know my entire backside is glowing red, as the heat penetrates deep within me. I begin to squirm, hard nipples scraping against the comforter, squeezing my thighs together against the flood of sensation deep within my core.

He leans over and I feel his cool fingers trace the marks of raised flesh flowing across my skin. A deep moan escapes my throat before I can stop it.

He chuckles quietly and squeezes my ass adding a bit of coolness to the heat flowing through me, I moan again arching my back in to the touch. He chuckles again, gets up and walks to the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on and wait trying hard not to give in to the temptation to touch myself, to ride the ecstasy flowing within me.

The shower turns off only minutes later. I hear him return, making a phone call to the Chinese restaurant around the corner from the hotel. I ache now to cum but I don’t dare to allow it as I am still bound within the game.

He gets dressed then stands by the bed stroking my hair. I lean in to the touch allowing it to heighten my arousal.

What do you say pet? He asks.

“Thank You Sir” I whimper.

Good girl. He pats my head and removes the blindfold noticing the dampness of the material.

He looks at me for a moment and I avert my eyes ashamed of the few tears I spilled.
Cupping my chin in his hand he looks in my eyes tracing my cheek with his thumb, I look in his eyes.

I am sorry pet. I didn’t know it had been so long. He says.

I smile slightly, giving a slight shrug in acceptance of his apology. The moment is broken.

He sighs and gets dressed, not looking at me.

I’m going to pick up dinner. What you do in the meantime is up to you, but I expect you to be presentable when I get back.

“Yes Sir” I say as he opens the door.

I breathe a sigh of relief as the latch clicks in place with the closing of the door. Thankful he didn’t try to prolong the moment.

I sink back in to myself, rolling over on to my glowing backside. Fingers barely touch the heat between my thighs and I am coming, ecstasy arcing across every nerve ending with the softest stroke of my fingers, and the renewed stinging warmth of the welts on my flesh rubbing against the comforter beneath me.

The Yardstick of Deviant Behavior

How should a girl take it when her lover says in not so many words that she is sexually dysfunctional?

Welcome to the Yardstick!

So Opie (OP15) & I were talking shop one day and during the course of the discussion I shared a little fantasy of mine. No, I don’t remember what it was, but she agreed that it was chock full of deviant goodness. I told her I was comforted in the fact that she understood the appeal of this fantasy and she told me to be careful what yardstick I was using to measure such things. I told her “it’s like this” Ned Flanders on one end, with the Emperor Nero on the other. Thus the creation of a running joke between us.



Keep in mind the order and far extreme do change over time as I discover more fabulous deviants in history, but Ned Flanders is always the starting point. I think I may paint it on my wall one day as a guide for potential lovers who think they can handle my preferences.

No matter how much you love grilled cheese sandwiches, if that’s all you’re eating you will become bored. The taste buds will atrophy & the mind will lose all interest. Eating will become a predictable chore.

I much prefer to liven things up with sliced tomatoes, maybe add some ham, change the cheese to Swiss or Colby-jack, and try a nice dark rye or 12 grain, maybe some turkey. Perhaps add a salad. Maybe a little soup. It all depends on what I crave & the limits of the imagination.

Some days, it’s all about a club sandwich & a side of macaroni salad. Other days, nothing but Filet Mignon with blue cheese crumbles & a fully loaded baked potato with Chocolate Decadence for dessert will satisfy me.

I learned with the Asshat that sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, it's not enough to keep a relationship from going to hell in a handbasket whether you have "vanilla" association or one based more towards D/s or BDSM.

Actually, just the other day while discussing my supposed dysfunction with the Boo pet I told him "Someday you may find love isn't enough. "

He didn't have a response to that.